
now with more furry cuteness!

on the last episode, jasper and beryl were on the way to the pet store to purchase a new furry family member.
a very secret pet. a pet i didn't spoil in the title card. you never know, they could be getting a dog.

-3 days in the pit?
seriously, i thought the day would never come. i'm shaking, who is this sim, it's obviously not jasper.

look at my creatively named pet store.
in xanadu, subtlety is a lost artform.

mawreen: what's cookin', good lookin'? *finger guns*
...beryl, get back in the car. no pet is worth this sort of danger.

i've never bought a pet from a bin before. i didn't even know there were customization options.
...so behold, a custom kitty, perfectly specified to match the spirit of the bakelite family.
banjo: i don't care for diaspore.
you see? it's the perfect cat.

jasper: i think the construction worker is the hottest member of the village people.

mawreen: you couldn't be more wrong.
jasper: i'm about to yeet some bees into that grotesque maw of yours.

we had to split because trouble was brewing.
banjo, hurry up. i know we came here to get you, but i'm not above making you walk home.

jasper animorphs into banjo in the car, which is honestly more terrifying than anything else i've seen in this game.

wow a successful outing! the game didn't even crash like it does sometimes for me. :')

jasper and beryl: ehehehehe.
banjo: i must protect these idiots with my life.

i like the way banjo turned out! she have fluffy tail. :>

jasper: no, cat. bad cat.
banjo: i will poop on everything you love.
jasper: that's bad kitty! no spite shitting!

diaspore is the only gen 3 kid so far to actually hug professor kari after work.
i think he's trying to make himself useful, even though he remains anything but.

jasper: oh hey mom!
hazelanne: how are the family investments doing? this is a good time for economical growth.

i don't know why my tv channels are so artifacted. eventually i might fix it, but probably not. i don't care enough and it just looks like a bad connection.
which, i mean, canonically these motherfuckers live on another planet millions of lightyears from earth. the fact that they're able to pick up a signal is a goddamn miracle.

jasper: musical chairs is much less funny when i'm the one without a chair.
beryl and mythril: *discuss their love of busts*

jasper gets along hella well with banjo, which is nice.
jasper: *vague cooing over fluffy cat*
banjo: what is happening

she's officially his evil feline familiar.

beryl: *screeching*

beryl: OH MY GOD GET IT OUT OF ME

this lovely little one is called peridot.
one of these days i'll remember to retile the ceiling, but i still haven't.

jasper: babies! :D
beryl: i'm exhausted.
painting beryl: i feel you, bro.

can you believe that jasper is fucking ancient at this point and yet he's only maxed one skill?

amillia: hi, hambo!
hambo: hayyy
hambo is the patriarch of the brumm family, and sorbet from the last update is his daughter.
look, it's hard to come up with names sometimes, ok? hambo

beryl's heir portrait is finished!

i think beryl still has vaguely mythril-like eyes. the rest of her face is very professor kari.
i'm trying to make these portraits as neutral as possible to see the genetic differences over time.

professor kari earns $25,000! i'm proud of her.

diaspore: awkward awkward awkward
professor kari: *notices nothing*

diaspore: sherlock holmes, you're my favorite motherfucker.

banjo: i've got my eye on you, spectral apparition.

banjo: a watched ghost never boils.
hazelanne: stop following me, goddamn it.

professor kari and jasper are still madly in love, despite jasper's personality attempting to sabotage that.

professor kari: remember hagatha? what a jerk.
jasper: i'm pretty sure i told you about her, but i love to hear my opinions parroted back to me. :D

one baby isn't enough. even if peri is incredibly cute.
on the other hand, ten babies was too many. and jasper will suffer.
i'm not over it.

amillia: what is that peculiar chiming noise?

banjo, you have food. in your bowl.
banjo: how dare you feed me on the floor like some kind of cat. i shall take my rightful mac and cheese.

beryl: HORK
mythril: hooray! the bakelite line remains strong.

idk why but i've always felt that ts2 sims would be hard if you were able to touch them, like plastic. but banjo looks so fuckin soft.

carnelian becomes a teen! she's still a clone, but she's a pretty clone.

beryl: i'm prengan! again!
jasper: bitch i have eyes.

peri is a very loud baby. she's always losing her shit over basically nothing.

luckily, jasper loves taking care of tiny sims. thank goodness we still have a primary family sim in this house.
when jasper dies (which he probably won't) every subsequent generation is going to be fucked.

professor kari: HHHO MY GOD THAT IMAGE OF CRYSTAL IS SEARED INTO MY RETINAS.
maybe stop spying on her? also, crystal and topaz got old offscreen, which is why she looks different.

jasper: maybe i should adopt a child to mold in my image.
you... you had ten children, biologically. that's +3 in the pit.
i don't know how many days we're up to. it's a lot.

peri has a birthday! look at that nose!
she's such a nice mix of her parents, tbh. not the cutest baby, but distinctive and precious.

amillia: who's my lil goober?
peri: how dare you refer to me as a 'goober', mother. ...but it's me. i'm the goob.

professor kari: i'm spying on crystal again.
statue: you shouldn't do that.

professor kari: EUGUGUGHGHHG GROSS
stop

i don't know why these bitches seem dead set on teaching their younglings a word they'll never use.
i would buy high chairs, but they slow down the sprog-feeding process.

i took another picture of carnelian, because she's pretty.

what are you doing here, crystal?
crystal: i just laid a beatdown on that professor kari.
fair enough.


i keep forgetting to feed banjo, because her bowl is hard for me to see.
it was at this point that i realized, these bitches DO have a high chair, and all it does is block the food bowl. and yet i continually forget to delete it. gg me.

sproogle is growing.
as is beryl's creative skill.

jeez it's growing really fast.
jasper: i approve!

diaspore: FUCK YOUR WARDROBE
gasp how dare

i finally made over diaspore. i finished being mad over non-shitty diaspore.
now i'm just salty and sad over his untimely demise. rip non-shitty diaspore.

carnelian: here's a celebratory noogie for finally getting noticed by sim-god!
diaspore: i don't want this! give me the maxis hair back!

carnelian: hey, dad, are we your favorite kids?
diaspore: we take your silence as a yes.

jasper: say 'skeleton bear'.
how is that helpful in any way?
jasper: jack skellingbear will not be disrespected like this. >:(

scientists agree, radioactive children are faster learners.


carnelian brings over cynthia brumm, who is the sister of sorbet from the last update, as well as the daughter of hambo brumm.
carnelian: hold up, gotta store my report card in my ass so my parents don't see it.
cynthia: ...weird.

some family bonding featuring cynthia.
banjo: i feel excluded. is it because of my lack of opposable thumbs?

...we got another lamp? jfc. stop giving me so many lamps, matchmaker.
traveth: can i have it?
...no, bitch. get your own lamp.

professor kari: the best way to get better at homework? ...just don't suck.

diaspore: but mom, i don't understand algebra--
professor kari: ahpbupbup, that sounds like 'mad because you're bad' syndrome to me.

diaspore: i did it!
professor kari: ...there's still homework on the floor, what are you even trying to pull? whatever, have a failure hug.

banjo might be cautious of diaspore, but she seems to like carnelian.

as seen by her happily dancing.

hazelanne: you sold my fucking bed, how dare you!
cynthia: ...weird.

cynthia: what a rude ghost!

carnelian gets scared by her grandmother's ghost and uh... rolls her eyes like a slot machine?
i suppose if this picture was taken a moment later her eyes would just say "N O".

beryl: hey look, i'm a pillow lion. isn't that odd?
amillia: *thinking about other things*

cynthia: your ghost upset me, so take this!

amillia: that's unacceptable. i wish beryl's grandma had killed you.


peridot discovers the cat. banjo placates her, for she is a gentle beast.

babies: round 2. this time it's personal.

this little cutiefly is jade.

...and they have a twin. so this is malachite.

carnelian: wooo! good babies!
diaspore: ew these things just came out of my sister. gross.

amillia: neither of them are clones! it's a christmas miracle!

why are jasper and professor kari holding your children on the loading screen?
beryl: i'm holding peri?
amillia: I'M WAVING

i wanted to give jasper a ponytail, because he's like. i don't know. 50 now? so he needed a New Look.
however, although this ponytail looks great from the side...

it's kind of awkward from the front. idk there's something i don't quite like about it.
i changed it back eventually, after many pictures wherein i tried to convince myself that it looked good on jasper.

beryl: i beat garnet's ASS score, finally.
amillia: ...please explain that statement more thoroughly.

do i like this hair? do i not? at this point, i didn't even know.
what's going on in the background? i don't know. i'm all wrapped up in this ponytail thing right now.

ruby: i'm baaaack.
jasper :are you one of my kids? there's so damn many of you.

hey, i was perfectly happy with my three heir choices, but beryl and amillia tried to ACR a fourth.
they didn't succeed, but it planted a seed of dissatisfaction in my mind.

jasper rolled the want to get struck by lightning.
cue five hours of useless bird watching in a thunderstorm. bitch didn't even get struck, what bullshit.

professor kari: bad kitty! don't scratch the couch. we got you literally three different scratching posts.
banjo: i do what i want, professor mother.

diaspore has less nice points than jasper, so repairing the plumbing induces even more unbridled screaming.

i can't remember if kari and jasper were three bolters at this point, but this picture makes me think they probably were.

i didn't even comment on the fact that diaspore became a teen. i'm getting him confused with amber. and carnelian.
he finally does that 4th grade math assignment he got.

the less shunned, non-purple siblings are watched by their scorned purple siblings.
ah, who am i kidding. ruby's been pretty scorned too.

i think peridot is the first kid to learn the nursery rhyme since hazelanne taught it to tourmaline decades ago.

beryl: why do i always have to deal with screaming, stank-riddled babies? :/
because amillia and professor kari work, and jasper is playing mortal kombat right now.

continuing the tradition of including the title card because i'm too disorganized to not accidentally upload it to imgur.

ruby was also a great mix of his parents. if i had found a look that worked for him before i picked beryl, he might've actually been heir instead.

jasper: i have forged a tiny ally and taught it the gift of speech!
carnelian and diaspore: pay attention to us. :(

genie: i am the genie of the magical lamp!
beryl: we've been through this before.

genie: what is it that you re--
beryl: moneymoneymoneymoney. MONEEEEEY.

genie: so i'll be... er... going. i guess.
beryl: KACHING!

jasper: how does it even fall through the roof and ceiling?
beryl: shhh it's free money. it's magic.


this sums up carnelian. also her crown keeps messing up and making her look like a cyclops.

girl, no wonder you have an F. you get a couple more homeworks and you can build a fort of failure.

banjo: i wish to aid in the development of the small ones.
jasper: nah we're good.
banjo: i shall yowl them a lullaby.

jasper: i have many best friends forever!
professor kari: how many of them have the bakelite name?
jasper: ...like all of them.

that's a ton of birthdays. @_@
also one last shot of toddler peri because...

peri becomes a child! ...yeah i click > grow up'd because i need less dependent sims to take care of.
i'm too lazy for cakes, what do you want from me.

i love peri.

i don't know about the hair. i'm going through the five stages of grief with it.
this is bargaining.
...also

a shot of the bakelite family crypt, where i had to send mythril and hazelanne's urns.
about hazelanne's urn... i accidentally lost their urns and had to revive them and rekill them with insim. and for some reason, hazelanne got a golden urn the second time around. /o\

i'm getting tired of this vast quantity of sims, so diaspore goes off to college. carnelian shall follow suit, soon.

the twins still exist, and they'll stop being larvae very soon! :D

i. love. peri.
i find her face very pleasant.

someone wanted to hire a maid, so i acquiesced. then i gave her a makeover, because my maid defaults are fucked up by me not knowing how defaults work.

maid: hi, mrs. bakelite!
beryl: not now, i'm arting.

banjo fucking hates the maid and has built a trash fort from which to terrorize her.

maid: oh my god help, your cat is being very aggressive!
jasper: i would, but i'm all tied up in this bass right now.

jade: i think your hair is swell!
jasper: i really appreciate that, smol child.

i think carnelian had gone to bed when i was sending diaspore off, so i let her sleep through the night and then moved her off. bye carn!

amillia and professor kari are both in the scientist career track, and they're really good at what they do.

amillia: *googling* n-e-p-o-t-i-s-m... definition.

the twins finally aged up! this is malachite.

aaaaand jade. they're both super cute and have very beryl-y eyes.

not to be outdone, kari also ages up.

she barely changed at all though.
i keep forgetting she even aged up until she talks and has the old lady voice.

good, now we have more sims to train.
also strike fifty thousand against the ponytail, it refuses to acknowledge gravity.

i don't have a lot of androgyny clothes, so i play kind of fast and loose with who wears them.
beryl wears a sleep-safe binder. they exist on xanadu. it's fine.

malachite: i need sleep! not this!
jasper: you're sending me mixed signals here.


what the fuck
is this groundhog's day? am i reliving the same two sim days over and over again?
what lamp number is this

beryl: OH MY GOD A MAGIC LAMP HOW NOVEL
just. shut up. shut the fuck up.

genie: oh. it's you. again. here's your money, asshole.
beryl: HISSSS

professor kari also helps with the grandbabies, i swear! she keeps climbing higher on the career ladder, which translates into more days off.

amillia reaches a money milestone. i'm proud of her!

jade is cute. idk what else to say. look at her face.

malachite on the other hand? foregoes every possible toy a toddler could want to creepily watch his mothers sleep.

remember when i said that ACR planted a seed of doubt? or whatever?
well, i had them try for a fourth baby. and got chimes. AND I REMEMBERED TO ROLL THE SIM GENERATOR :D
i'm excited!! we'll see baby 4 in the next update! o/
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