the bakelite legacy 2.1

[furbyq]

we begin with our new heir's newly mildly redecorated abode.



jasper's primary aspiration is family, but his secondary is knowledge. and for some reason, he rolls skill point wants more often.

jasper: "how to repair a sink without screaming at it to die"? this isn't the book for me.

hagatha: soon



corey mcemohair is no longer a family friend.



i sent jasper to monkey statue park to attempt to find a suitable partner. i'm intrigued by what i've seen so far.



see anything you like?

jasper: allow me to ponder if anyone in this park is good enough for jasper bakelite...



jasper: meh

..that's it? "meh"?

jasper: have you seen these people



jasper: georgie i love your eyebrows but hate everything else i mean ew

georgie: i'm about two seconds from slapping this bitch



georgie: allow me to set you up on a blind date, i mean, what could go wrong?



professor brittany leelaporn, everyone.



jasper: ...didn't i have you in like psychology 101 or something

brittany: don't worry about it



she just immediately ended the date? like i didn't even do anything. she split.

if she's a professor, she definitely met topaz and crystal, so that's probably why.



jasper is still interested in georgie, and proceeds to do that thing where he spams social interactions but still complains that he hates her in between each one.



jasper: i like you, like, as a mortal enemy!

georgie: please go away



jasper: i don't know how to fish

bonnie mcgoggles: ain't about fishin'. it's about the stories.

gingerdreads mcemohair: i banged a merman in this pond once. that ain't no story. that's the truth.



oh thank god someone else i made showed up maybe jasper will--

jasper: nice to meet you, i hate you



...i sent jasper back home and had him ring the matchmaker. because money is the only thing that is going to get this dinglehorn a date.



jasper: matchmaker i want to fall in love and get married and have like, tons of extremely evil babies

matchmaker: there is no hope for you, no one will ever love you.



jasper: here's like, idk, $1500

matchmaker: ...maybe there is one person...



matchmaker: look i'm trying to be nice here



matchmaker: ah yes... she is the one



...it's another professor.

IT'S ANOTHER PROFESSOR I PAID 1500 SIMOLEANS FOR THIS



professor kari: i'm not one for euphemisms, i want to get right down to it. i love your hair. i want to marry it.

jasper: GASP such beautiful words, kari-sensei



they actually have 2 bolts. which is good for less than half the matchmaker's maximum payment.



professor kari: i've never been flirted with oh my god what do i dooo



when you get crunk with your new lady in your moms' living room.



i would say this was a good picture, except for that trash in the frame.

jasper: fuckin rude



i had mythril repaint her own portrait so i'd have one with her second hairstyle. now there's just two pictures of mythril in the living room that we don't talk about.



jasper: FUN

jasper, the tv isn't on.



jasper: it was a joke this is the only way i can truly have fun.

your life is hilariously sad



mythril: double double toil and trouble, fire burn and cauldron bubble!

hazelanne: what... what are you doing?

mythril: just evil witch things



mythril was like 7 days older than hazelanne, so i had her chug some life juice.



mythril: that's some good 7up



so i uh

i was just continuing on with stuff for a long time, taking pictures and whatnot, and i realized hours later that professor kari is... still in the house

jasper: you're still here?

professor kari: bitch i will never leave



professor kari: your spaghetti skills leave much to be desired, hazelanne

hazelanne: who are you



myth and haze: *sleep*

professor kari: *creep*



professor kari: look, her tits might be fully out, but i'm being decent and not looking.

...you could leave the room?

professor kari: the bubbleblower is in here though



oh god topaz converted someone else to the renfaire life



professor kari: i'm just maintaining my hygiene, y'know, it'd be improper to use someone's shower uninvited.

you've been at their house for like 36 hours now and this is where you draw the line



hazelanne: oh my god are you in love with that lady who disrespected my spaghetti?

jasper: mom you're embarrassing me in front of my stalker



professor kari: don't disrespect my future husband, mom

hazelanne: i'm not your mom you nitwit

professor kari: ...you will be



professor kari: what the fuck is going on out here? stop loitering at these nice folks' house. for god's sake. people have no manners anymore



mythril: at last... i have everything i need.

professor kari: we're kind of busy



mythril: MAGIUS MAJINGO





jasper looks good in that evil warlock outfit but it clips with his hair something terrible.



hey

no i didn't



mythril: she's finally gone *eye twitch*



professor kari immediately comes back to leave a rose on the front porch.

professor kari: very few people would allow me to trespass for two days... he's a keeper.



hazelanne, i told you to make mac and cheese not the soup of the void



oh so now everyone wants to be a witch that's cool



hazelanne: look at me dance inconspicuously near mythril's witch podium! absolutely nothing suspicious to see here!



mythril: magus mango

hazelanne: YES



jasper: i want to cast bee spell

hazelanne: son, no, we must not use our powers for evil

jasper: BEE SPELL ON TOPAZ



jasper: hey kari can you come over

professor kari: yeah i'll be right there i happen to be on your lot





hazelanne: oh god she came back, play it cool, hazelanne

jasper: do you want to like, move in?

professor kari: lemme think about it...



cirrus: *steals the newspaper*

mailien: DON'T

thanks for your help, mailien



professor kari: of course i'll move in!



whoa shit she's the first financially stable person in this legacy



professor kari looks like she's having second thoughts here. i wonder why

jasper: EHEHEHEH



they have their first kiss. because, you know, that one on the front porch? faked. stunt kiss



professor kari: please do me the honor of becoming mr. professor kari

jasper: OH MY GOD I GOTTA PICK OUT A DRESS



jasper: it's beautiful and glowy

professor kari: bitch what did you expect, a ring pop?



y'know what every legacy needs? a good old-fashioned kitchen wedding where one sim is in their underwear/pjs.

jasper deserves nothing less and certainly not much more.



professor kari: let's get some baby magic going on

jasper: i have prepared my magic wand for such a day by not using it for any other spells

professor kari: that's a little sad



myth and haze: *dance in front of the fridge*





hey we got some chimes



hey we got some ralphing



professor kari: i am less than happy with this situation but it's making my boobs look fantastic



jasper: you know like, birds? *pretends to be a bird*

mythril: how can you possibly be my son



professor kari's money translated into a very yellow house makeover. but hey, we have a second floor now!



jasper: have you ensured that the child will be born evil?

professor kari: i've been drinking a lot of cranberry juice, so it will at least be very bitter





and some say the ghost of hagatha oglevie still haunts these halls today...

look, jasper's secondary aspiration made him roll the want to see a ghost like a hundred times, so i kept haggie around to hopefully accomplish this at least once.



hagatha: jasper found someone? i'm shocked. i thought he'd die alone.



hagatha: sajfkslafsakld i need social but no one will talk to me! i'm a GHOST!



hazelanne: darling, hagatha is inside of you

mythril: god it's like that fanfiction i wrote about us where we went to witch boarding school.



jasper: hey hag nice uniform are you going to keep wearing it when you go to hell

hagatha: BITCH



jasper: oh my god a ghost oh my god so scary

hagatha: my scares may not kill you but i assure you my ghostly hands are about to



professor kari: how to rid your house of a ghost that your husband keeps smack-talking into poltergeistly fits of anger



it has to be almost time by now. that is substantial spawn growth.



professor kari peed herself, but we don't judge her.

jasper: i judge her a little.



jasper: I FUCKIN LOVE RAIN





jasper: i want a spell to torment my enemies

jasper i think you are that spell



i still love that hazelanne and mythril behave like two-bolters despite having none.



professor kari: i just think that recycling is a waste of time unless big companies do it, the common person doing it doesn't help anything

hazelanne: and i think all of us together can institute change

jasper: i'm just here for the food



mythril aged up! and she wouldn't stop mouthbreathing long enough for me to get a better picture.



professor kari: i fuckin love pork chops

same professor kari. same



hazelanne somehow aligned herself down to neutral witch and took up practicing guitar.



mythril: can i help you?

jasper: i came in here because i had to pee. i stayed out of SPITE



hey guys just cuddle right there

on the side walk, with your heads on the road

i foresee no danger



why are you standing... watching sports

jasper: because i hate sports and i hate standing



hazelanne you have like six cooking points what the hell



hazelanne: i burned my mac and cheese :(

you also burned yourself, but i guess that isn't as important



hazelanne ages up and retires from her job, which was a judge. i didn't even know she was a judge until this point.



in their golden years, mythril finally rolled the want to marry hazelanne.



i have to say... most of the time the first generation of a legacy is pretty bland, but i really like the two of them together.





hazelanne's a bakelite now!



why is timing in ts2 like this

i marry off two old lesbians and suddenly, babies



professor kari: OPPA!

what the fuck does that even mean

professor kari: WHAT DO YOU THINK IT MEANS THERE'S BABIES AFOOT





behold! a new bakelite. ruby bakelite.



behold! his twin. garnet bakelite.



but jasper's ltw is to marry off six children and this is only 1/3 of that, so... i expect this to be a big generation.