furbyq

we begin this update with the world's most pointless woohoo. give me some chimes, damn it.

professor kari: jasper why are you glowing?

jasper: i fucking love food

i appreciate jasper's seeming competence in actually taking care of ruby and garnet.

ruby: FEED ME AT ONCE, VILE SHREW

professor kari: wait your turn

professor kari: there we go... happy?

ruby: NEVER

mythril: 80s rock is the only valid music genre and i will defend it to the death

jasper: i won't fight you, you're just, right

jasper: you can't hide from me, mr, germ! you and your children will die by my hand.

i'm trying to make jasper a high-level warlock in case someone in gen 3 is deserving of supernatural powers.

it's a good thing hazelanne and mythril exist. they love their grandbabies.

ruby: hey grandma, what's going on?

mythril: can't talk, paralyzed by the beauty of this bare wall.

professor kari has literally seven cooking points and still makes porkchops of the void.

mythril: i take requests

jasper: sell the guitar

i love hazelanne's face. it's so intense. this is her completely neutral btw.

hazelanne, stop getting food out of the upstairs baby fridge.

hazelanne: it was on the way, though

professor kari: i'm worried i might be pregante. either that or porkchops of the void don't agree with me

hazelanne: she's got that glow

mythril: isn't two enough?

mythril is still the best painter in the house, so i have her work on jasper's heir painting.

cirrus keeps stealing the old newspapers.

cirrus: i just want to help the environment while hurting the bakelites.

jasper: i am become strONG

because bouncing on a trampoline is great for your arms.

again, not a huge fan of the first portrait. i might have mythril paint it again later.

hazelanne: do these taste old to you?

mythril: i'm pretty sure crystal made them... like five years ago. it's fine, our fridge is REALLY good

hellsprog has progressed to its final trimester.

jasper: i love you as much as your brother i can't tell the difference

ruby and garnet became toddlers! ruby is like, grunge topaz.

garnet is a soft princess, i love his mythril-face

jasper: repeat after me: "jasper bakelite is the baddest bitch in town"

garnet: i care not for spewing such lies

professor kari: oh my god it's clawing its way out

this is tourmaline!

fritz, why are you inside our locked gate and house?

fritz: my baby sense was tingling

i'm trying to keep on top of these kids' life skills. i hate when they grow up in aspiration failure.

garnet: i like playing the xylophone, it involves hitting

garnet has the same personality as jasper, but one less outgoing point.

i feel like ruby and garnet fight significantly less than topaz and jasper did.

speaking of topaz! i played his and crystal's lot a little. i invited topaz's uni girlfriend, calista, over. she brought jasper

calista: it's cool if i come over with your brother whom i also love, right?

topaz: no?

jasper: bitch i'm here anyways

i gave calista a makeover after she moved in. i was determined to use this hair on someone

calista: this is our first kiss, how exciting

jasper: did you just black out university or

crystal is, of course, a romance sim. i had her invite over gordon and charles lee, and promptly moved gordon in.

but not charles lee, he's like a unicorn, you gotta let him roam free.

topaz and calista got married!

now topaz is mr. calista mcauley

also calista is already carrying a bakelite nugget (or three). crystal and her man-harem were in attendance, including kent.

back at the main house, mythril has clearly announced her vote for heir.

mythril: i like this one, it looks more like me than any of my children do.

professor kari: you dtf

jasper: absolutely

garnet: what horrors echo to me from this bed

mythril: say bottle

ruby: bottle?

jasper: say bottle

garnet: fuck you, dad

in contrast to garnet, ruby has 10 nice points and is more receptive to autonomous cuddles.

mythril: gods, your xylophone skills are abysmal. they stink. you're terrible

garnet: grandmama why :(

jasper: baby fridge reminds me of my never-ending quest for babies

speaking of babies, professor kari's looking pretty tired

professor kari: i have three kids below age five, i'm dying

garnet: mother, free me from this infernal baby prison

professor kari: sucks to be you, i gotta dash to the computer before someone else gets on it

ruby: it's nice to be playing this superior logic game, compared to that useless xylophone

garnet: you keep trying to put the square in the triangle, you ass clown

what... what are you doing, hazelanne?

hazelanne: I'M DANCIN

the stereo is downstairs though

hazelanne: can't hear you, i got a fever only more dancing can cure

jasper: pfft show me that progress bar again when it's not lame as fuck

jasper: say "jasper"

ruby: can i not just say dad? papa? father? padre? pere? pops?

jasper: no, in fact, call me mr. jasper

oh my god they're both dancing now

mythril: you weren't supposed to see

mythril and hazelanne: HOOOOO

mythril: how's it hangin' baby-o?

garnet: grandma's weird

hazelanne: you call me to talk about the weather? cease to consume air, you conversational troglodyte

topaz: mom please

mythril: this child gives me a lot of inspiration...

mythril: EVIL INSPIRATION EHEHEHEHE

professor kari: wow these burgers are surprisingly great

mythril: i'm like 75 years old, you think i can't make a burger by now?

garnet is a cute. a mean, but a cute.

jasper: my perfect children don't deserve to live in this den of filth

mythril: i guess we're best friends now. only best friends help each other shit

mythril: good night, second choice

tourmaline: i feel that this 'garnet' might need to be destroyed

hazelanne: hold still, i need to practice magic on you

professor kari: wait what

hazelanne: fiddle lee dee, fiddle lee doo, a much more comfortable sim are you

professor kari: oh thanks i don't have to pee anymore

ruby: FREE MEEEEEE

mythril: i'll get around to it

sometimes you party a little too hardy

jasper: there is only one way for a fiend such as myself to have fun

which is?

jasper: YAR HAR FIDDLE DEE DEE

tourmaline grows up into hilarious awful hair

she's cute with a makeover, though. she's basically the topaz to ruby's crystal, where her face/personality are almost identical except for a tiny tiiiiiny bit.

garnet and ruby age up! here's garnet. this is my favorite hair right now, so he better not sully it

and here is ruby. i like both of their faces, especially ruby's serious eyebrows

garnet: JUMP JUMP

garnet: oh no i messed up the bed... this won't do

did i mention both garnet and ruby have 10 neat points? jasper is the gift that keeps on giving.

jasper: it's not too late to jump on a plane and leave it all behind

professor kari: i'm pregnant and we have three other kids, so it is too late

professor kari: so as a witch can you like, divine the future?

jasper: no but i have some crystal balls you can rub

ruby: money money money money ...MONEY

jasper: oh my god it's raining oh my god

ruby: dad stop

hazelanne: goodnight, my special little guy... don't mind this anti-demon candle i put next to you

hazelanne... whatcha doin?

hazelanne: i'm keeping an eye on my choice for heir.

mythril burning pancakes and getting sad is the most relatable thing i've seen in the sims.

garnet: do you want to be friends?

ruby: i don't know, i'm kind of busy

ruby: don't tickle me

garnet: sorry... what about--

ruby: don't talk to me

garnet: oh okay

ruby: (ganon voice) you dare

garnet: i hope a burglar steals your face

i think i'm seeing where garnet gets his social ineptitude from

mythril: tickle?

professor kari: DON'T TOUCH ME NEVER TOUCH ME

mythril: yikes

at least they have each other?

professor kari: being heavily pregnant is hard

hazelanne: question: where exactly are you storing that baby

professor kari: ...i'm wearing spanx

ruby is a budding artiste, i support him. he's probably going to be fortune at this rate

hazelanne continues to hover around him, possibly to keep him safe from Team Blonde Heir

professor kari: askadjskdjjsf not again

professor kari: hazelanne, help

hazelanne: i'll get the hose

hazelanne and mythril have become very dancey in their old age

tourmaline is very similar to ruby, but we still attempt to teach her basic life skills.

professor kari: where do i put this screwdriver. in the screen?

well, at least we got baby #4 before you started doing dangerous shit

jasper, you should look through that telescope all night. find a new star. maybe they'll name it after you. just don't. stop. looking. okay?

jasper: on it!

hey, finally a picture of baby #4 because i forgot to take one right after she was born. i was just immediately disgusted by her not having kari's eyes. I WANT A GREEN-EYED HEIR CANDIDATE. this is chrysoberyl.

mythril: why do i never get to be the big dipper

hazelanne: because you have little dipper energy

why would you guys fuck on the couch at 2:30 pm on a weekday, in the room that your kids enter the house through

jasper: it's scandalous and exciting

professor kari: also hazelanne is sleeping in our bed

hazelanne: oh hey

mythril: can we help you?

...n...no. i'll leave

hazelanne rolls more wants to help the children. mythril actively rolls fears of changing diapers, so i just make her paint instead.

synchronized skill building

ruby: not fair, i don't want to study with this nerd

it's your own damn fault for autonomously putting yourself in a good mood

oh noooo oh my god oh my goodness how could this happen /s

professor kari: I'M GLAD YOU'RE BACK BUT IT'S SO LOUD MAKE IT STOP

jasper: ugh alien drugs

jasper: OH MY GOD WHY DID YOU LET THAT HAPPEN TO ME I'M NOT EVEN A KNOWLEDGE SIM I HATED IT

but... but you are a knowledge sim. secondarily

jasper: I'M NOT ENOUGH OF A KNOWLEDGE SIM FOR THAT

jasper: i'll have you know, i took that probing like a champion. i barely even cried

professor kari: i know, i was there on our wedding night

professor kari: i am glad you're back though... i'm quite fond of you

jasper: i'm fond of you too! but i fuckin hate aliens

as someone whose irl brother is a drummer... garnet 100% looks and acts like a drummer

professor kari: this child is my best friend!

congrats on having a friend that has as much utility as a loaf of bread. well, actually less. babies are much harder to slice.

hey, cousin sothasil

no i didn't

please remove yourself from the parallel dimension you're trapped in at once before i delete you

at some point, ruby and garnet got into private school. i forgot to take pictures because it was a chore getting mythril and jasper to stop interacting with the headmaster and offending him

garnet is also dripping? but i think that might just be a thing he does