the bakelite legacy 2.4

[furbyq]

we start this update with spinel, or spinny as i like to call her, being a cute lil bean.

she's been gaining creativity points at an alarming level with the xylophone so i think she's our prodigal child.



jasper fucked off to god knows where so professor kari had to finish spinny's walking lesson.



i have a lot of family meal pictures because i love the urns being included.

beryl: we don't have enough chairs.

no, beryl. we have too many kids.



ruby: garnet keeps trying to be my friend but he's like. so lame. he has no work ethic.

beryl: ...do you have to wear that dumb outfit in the house?

ruby: I'M ALWAYS ON THE JOB.



kari used baby explosion! it's super effective!



jasper: honey, do be careful of the venus flytraps. they hunger for baby meat.



i rerandomized the goddamn sim generator and i got the purple skin again. my secondhand alien spooge theory becomes more plausible all the time.

anyways, this is amber.



jasper: ever since those aliens probed me, none of my kids have been normal. ugh.

jasper, you're a warlock. your entire life is abnormal.



jasper: you know what will cheer me up? another potentially bizarre child.

professor kari: say no more.



jasper: it's really cute though, even if it reminds me of the grimace.



i'm pretty sure i simblendered amber into aging, because i've decided i want him to go to college with the rest of this gen. he's pretty cute!



oh, and spinel is a child now. and she's gleeful as fuck over it.



jasper: if there's something strange in your neighborhood, who are you going to call?



born too late to be heir. born too early to be shunned.



congrats, tourm, you're going to make hell college somewhat more tolerable.



okay, got it. ignore all chance cards.



professor kari: if only i had any animations that kept this from squirting directly into my open eyes.



jasper: speaking of squirting...

professor kari: wow, you're such a charmer.



tourmaline: i can't wash dishes because this blue bitch is washing dishes. the absolute nerve.



say goodbye to child beryl and hello to...



teen beryl! who lost most of her baby fat. i love her. her face is so distinct and loud.



beryl: damn growing pains.

i don't think growing pains make your wrists spontaneously break. you should see a doctor.



i guess we're in this for the long haul on jasper's 10 children wish.



i continue to be a fiend for scholarships. whether it be from logic points or an alien abduction, beryl better bring something to the table.



professor kari is used to being squirted in the face now.



garnet: do i qualify for any scholarships?

college admissions: if anything, you may be one of the only sims that has to pay US to come.

garnet: wow, rude.



hazelanne: our grandchild is very talented!

mythril: is that one even related to us? they're very... bat-like.



ruby: rock beats scissors, i win!

garnet: you're about to win a one-armed scissor to the dick, you salty bitch.



spinny is all about painting and raising that creativity skill. she also seems to be painting a picture of cinnabar.



ruby: i gotta piss, everyone out. the bear can stay,

amber: *aggressively leaves*



beryl keeps complaining about stargazing, so i guess she's going to get the athletic scholarship instead.

beryl: this outfit really doesn't make this activity any better.



spinny: i've completed my magnum opus! ...can someone help me out here, this thing is bigger than i am.



cinnabar: you gotta do combos! stop button-mashing, you buffoon.

that is officially the armchair of backseat gaming.



cinnabar: PUNCH, KILL, FATALITY, DRIVE THAT CAR, FUCK YEAH VIDEO GAMES



garnet just can't catch a break. this is the exact same reason he got fired at his old job.



garnet: why am i so bad at working? :|

you're okay at working. you just need to lie more.

garnet: but i want everyone at work to see how hard i've worked to train my tamagotchi. :(



ruby: oh i guess i'll just STAND, it's WHATEVER.

professor kari: ah yes, you've deduced correctly, son.



beryl autonomously cares for her small, purple sibling.



beryl: i don't really want to do this part. it involves poo.

you don't have anything better to do.



lightning struck the telescope. luckily, the rain immediately put it out and no bakelites were any the wiser.



jasper and kari are finally at three bolts! i think it's because they both have skill turn ons.

also kari is very concerned with at least one of her children being able to get a scholarship. like, she'll even take garnet at this point, the bakelite voted most likely to fail at everything.

professor kari: *baby pop*

jasper: BOOYEAH

professor kari: I'M KICKING SCORPION'S ASS

jasper: i support you, babe.

beryl: hi tourmaline!

tourmaline: hi beryl!

spinny: sigh... idiots.



spinny: fairy bear, that just doesn't seem right at all. ...maybe we should practice it in my room. alone.



oh, garnet's current job is an adventurer and he goes to work in this sherlock holmes-ass outfit.



wow that is an exceptionally large load.



beryl: how did this happen? :'( i did like, half of my homework.



i haven't shown any good post-makeover pics of child spinny, so here is one.



beryl has a logic skill of 8+ and still gets a D- in school. she just gives no fucks.



amber: learning to talk really helped me communicate with these ruffians i call "family".

someone had a birthday. i didn't even make him over, tbh i have gen 3 burnout at this point. baby #9 is fucked.



speaking of baby #9. i forgot to reroll the sim generator, so we got an amber clone. her name is carnelian.

also i don't think your neck is supposed to do that.



i mean fuck it, we've come this far.

...i said, not remembering that coral and cinnabar don't count as her kids.





coral: i hate eggs.

jasper: you get out of my face with that anti-egg bullshit.





see what you can get if you apply yourself, beryl? you can go from terrible to horrible.

this girl is cute, even if her clavicles hunger for braids. i think her name is sorbet.



cousin nerevar and cousin sothasil came over for an impromptu smustle party.

hey, sothasil! you're facing the wrong way!



i had someone invite the headmaster, because some of the kids other than garnet and ruby want to go to private school.

sorbet just stayed and kari spent the entire scenario in her undies, because why not at this point.



professor kari: ...and i think that's why my children would be perfect for your school!

headmaster: i've been too enthralled by your golden granny panties to really listen to what you're saying, but you do make a good point!



kari's panties save the day yet again.



this is a lot of bakelites in one picture. also, look at how many recessive blonde genes we have expressed here.



gordon came to retrieve cousin nerevar, but nerevar wasn't having it. also he isn't a fan of beryl.

weirdly enough, no one came to retrieve sothasil. i don't think anyone wants him.



jasper has finally mastered repairing the plumbing like a normal human being. i thought the day would never come.



sometimes i regret the arcade cabinet. bloody battles have been fought for a turn at it.

garnet: tourmaline, you're the worst mortal kombat player i've ever seen!

amber & cinnabar: wow that garnet is a real dinglehorn.



garnet: ehehehe you really got me good with those tickles!

beryl: hehe, yeah! now family kiss me.

garnet: ...come again?



coral: mailbox, i got an A! woo!



jasper: yay you got an... okay just walk away from me then, see if i care.



coral: music makes me want to dance!

tourmaline: music is very serious! how dare you defy it with dancing.



hey look it's teen coral. she's a cute motherfucker.



aaaaaaand we have teen cinnabar, who is a very dapper individual. tbh i like the combo of pooklet's alien with jasper's face, the blend is very interesting!



hazelanne visited again.



and she is ready to beat the nonsense out of her child and/or grandchildren.



beryl: a ghost? but why. why, grandmama?

tourmaline: bitch shut up about ghost grandma i'm tryna sleep.

hazelanne: BOO

jasper: MOM! you can't just do that, i was in the zone!

jasper: the audacity of that woman!



no one really likes spinny, because spinny spends all her time painting instead of socializing. i'm glad she made a friend.



coral: I GOT AN A!

jasper: ...when did you get wings?



coral: nonono keep firing! keep shooting! don't get in a corner, what're you doing, dummy?!

garnet: YOU'RE NOT HELPING



jasper: hey son. pfft, nice uniform.

ruby: at least i have a job. unlike someone.

jasper: don't make me release the bees. because i will. and believe me... they will do their job.



i got tired of all the damn sims in the house, so i sent off ruby and garnet to college. they were only 3 days away from aging up anyways.

jasper: like i care that sassy sideburns is leaving.



jasper: WAIT NO NOT MY GOTH SON.

garnet: dad, i have to go. in my pajamas for some reason.

tourmaline: godspeed.



jasper: bye garnet!

beryl: bye garnet! hi spinel!

spinel: hi beryl!

amber: hi garnet! bye garnet!

tourmaline: what the fuck is happening?



family meeting on the front lawn apparently. they just. stayed out there for a while.



amber's clone carnelian had a birfday.



she's just amber so we'll forget about her. because she's a clone of amber, she also has 1 nice point and is therefore always angry.



prepare for a path that leads to rage and disappointment. mostly on my end. because i took some pictures and then. my game crashed. this is the beginning of those pictures.

so kari gave birth again and had twins.





tourmaline: oh my god! why am i here!

professor kari: TOURM GO GET THE BUCKET



and oh look she had a cute baby. that i called diaspore.



and a second baby, chalcedony. who got a badly cropped pic because these pictures make me angry.



...since when do these fuckers have distant relatives. maybe it's coral and cinnabar's extended alien family?





spinny grew up, which doesn't make me angry.



because she's ridiculously cute. i love her face.







coral: THE PIANO TRIED TO EAT MY HAND!

piano: aliens are delicious.



i sent tourmaline off to college. the send-off crew seems to be smaller every time i do this, like everyone's getting tired of saying goodbye.



then beryl was sent off. she's my precious baby and i love her, so it was hard for me.



carnelian grew up and i care, very little.



AND THEN THE TWINS GREW UP AND I DIDN'T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT CHALCEDONY.



but i loved diaspore.

and then? APPLICATION WILL TERMINATE. and i went back to right after carnelian became a toddler. so chalcedony and diaspore? never heard of them. they never existed.



don't you motherfuckers just play and be joyous like my soul wasn't just ripped to shreds.



AND I FORGOT TO REROLL THE GENERATOR SO I GOT ANOTHER AMBER CLONE. i called this one diaspore as well, since it was still next on my mineral list. but this is an inferior diaspore who will henceforth be known as shitty diaspore.



at least i got beryl back for a little bit. she made me feel a little better.

beryl: i got an A! i'm so happy!

cinnabar: i'm happy for you, but what the fuck is wrong with your hands?



spinny regrew up and i gave her the same makeover. except this time i added a flower crown! she's lovely.



beryl: and like, sex? is an easy topic. you just unload a torrent of egg-penetrating seeds into your partner and BAM. a baby comes out.

spinny: i'm so uncomfortable.

jasper: eh.



mythril: i'm angry! i had two decent grandchildren be replaced by one mediocre one.

same, mythril. same fuckin hat.



amber grew up, and he grew this mustache so people would take him more seriously. i immediately shipped him and the remaining kids off to college.



professor kari: oh my god, finally we're alone.

jasper: ...except for carnelian and diaspore.

professor kari: ...

professor kari: FUCK