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professor kari dies and what want does this motherfucker roll?
bitch. did you forget your DEAD WIFE.
beryl: i miss Professor Mom. :c
mawreen: helloooooo
jasper: blocked.
mawreen: you can't block someone irl, dumb ass.
mawreen, no one asked for this.
since mawreen was done playing, i released jasper from the pit of shame. I think in total he spent a week in there, which in sims time is like 7 years.
peridot: homework is hard but at least i look fly as hell. :>
peridot: grandpa jasper? where have you been all this time?!
jasper: around.
is there a new running total for days jasper has to spend in the pit? who's to say.
probably not. i feel like the pit is a once per sim kind of experience.
jasper: amillia looks nice today.
have you considered not being a side-eye voyeur?
amillia is accosted by a swarm of academically awesome adolescents.
can. can i talk about the fact that the kids brought home carnelian AND diaspore as 'friends'.
apparently they traveled to the ether limbo where carn and diaspore have been since i sent them to uni.
amillia: oh hey. you're both back. yay.
carnelian: sound less enthused, why don't you.
malachite: yeah, sorry i missed your call earlier. if only phones made some kind of easily-identifiable ringing sound!
amillia: i have no son.
diaspore: hey, beryl. how are the finances?
beryl: don't worry about it, spare.
diaspore: rude.
beryl: i technically am your older sister, so guess what?
beryl: welcome home, wet nerd!
gotta say, glad i released jasper from the pit. because he does literally everything no one else wants to do.
meanwhile, beryl waterboards herself while attempting to fix the sink. at least she tries?
jade: moms, get out here and congratulate us!
peridot: yeah, bitches!
jade: peri, that's too far.
peridot: ...nice bitches?
jasper: you would make an acceptable professor kari replacement.
you're not even like. vaguely gay.
jasper: not yet. give it a couple hundred years.
jasper: fine, i'll just call someone over.
...who. who are you calling?
goddamn it the pit was apparently a weird bonding experience.
mawreen: hey. i'm your new mom.
beryl: no thanks.
jasper: how could i do this?
you know dude, i've been asking myself the same thing for the past 5 minutes.
mawreen: your soul shall be spared from my insatiable gourd, due to the attractive amount of evil you possess.
jasper: finally, someone gets it.
usually the sims doesn't make me want to stab myself in the eyes but here we are.
jasper rolled this want. and now i'm feeling a little regret over the result.
hey. mawreen. what the fuck.
MAWREEN STOP
eventually she gtfos on her new witch broom.
peridot and the other kids remain obvious to my suffering.
jasper: you gotta learn how to speak.
banjo: do i not already?
jasper: you do it wrong.
this is the face of an animal that has heard the word "spurk" too many times.
jade: MOM WE GOT AN A+!
malachite: ACKNOWLEDGE US
amillia: gotta go
em brings back a cousin, turnip bakelite, one of tourmaline's kids.
malachite isn't so much cleaning the pet bed as he is intepretively dancing at it.
i guess the older kids brought home the brumm kids?
which is good, they shouldn't be digging in the university ether every night for their similarly aged aunt and uncle.
chey: bitch.
jasper: BITCH.
chey: oh fuck gotta go
jasper: ow i hurt my wrist casting corruptus locus. :c
jasper: GODDAMN ROACHES
you. you realize they always show up when you cast corruptus locus, right?
jasper: I'M TORN BETWEEN BEING EVIL AND MAKING MY SURROUNDINGS IMMACULATELY CLEAN.
tourmaline: i came to get turnip. let's go, turnip.
aw, come on. it's only 5 and she's visiting family.
tourmaline: yeah no.
the redone dining setup is nice and all, but i still don't have enough chairs for everyone. and i doubt that will ever change.
peridot sneaks out with carnelian, which is actually not rebellious at all since inteen considers her an independent (which i guess means 18+?) teen now.
carnelian momentarily escapes the netherworld where she and diaspore currently reside.
this cat? getting old? never.
at least, not until beryl is. i consider banjo to be beryl's cat.
jasper: i got this framed picture of me. i feel like it really tells people what i'm all about.
i literally only got these two pictures printed, but both jasper and banjo seem to really appreciate their respective portraits.
i could make more but like. who has the time.
beryl is getting REALLY good at breaking this tv and then immediately repairing it.
jade: and. uh. genies are kind of hot, i guess? the genie from aladdin is kind of a thick boy, but our genie is a buff otter.
jasper: this is a very effective way to learn charisma. believe me.
malachite: tickles!
emerald: how could i possibly be related to these people.
ok look. i like malachite, but malachite is not heir. and i'll be damned if i make that awesome wings hair the signature hair of another non-heir. so i gave him a makeover.
peridot: it was sad when grandma died, but like... she was kind of mean.
emerald: how so?
peridot: she made me call her 'professor grandma'. :/
banjo has a really good poker face. does she enjoy cat teaser? who's to say.
damn it kitty, go to work. your mood is fine what the hell
rondie: your grandma was a nice lady... when she wasn't being a BASTARD.
peridot: i think i'm in love with you.
rondie: your granddaughter is fine.
jasper: she gets it from me! :D
does jasper really give off a vibe like he only befriends and fucks monsters?
emerald grows up! and i waste time making her over for this pic, since i immediately started sending everyone to uni.
i'm done with it. gen 4 is a cursed generation.
peridot: um. i'm leaving.
beryl: oh hai amillia!
peridot: sigh... i'm glad at least momma milly isn't as dumb.
amillia: OH HAI BERYL!
peridot: goddamn it moms.
bye jade!
beryl: bye malach-- OH HAI AMILLIA!
and finally, emerald is sent off. rip her outfit that lasted all of 90 seconds.
jasper: at least only one of them will be coming back.
so you think hehe.
i mean. you're probably right.
contrary to what you may think, peridot bakelite and peridot island have nothing to do with each other.
after grueling minutes, i had everyone made over.
here is carnelian, finally freed from the ether.
carnelian bakelite
knowledge/fortune
scorpio 10 3 9 10 1
black hair, aliens / fitness
diaspore 'what did you say about my scarf, bro' bakelite.
diaspore bakelite
family/fortune
scorpio 10 3 9 10 1
underwear, charisma / hats
the fact that diaspore and carnelian are amber clones still makes me angry to this very day. at least i can use chemistry and aspirations to make them vaguely different people.
peridot! who i love. damn those 10 nice points. she's trying to make friends with the cow mascot.
peridot bakelite
pleasure/family
aquarius 6 3 3 6 10
fatness, athletic / blonde hair
jade! who is very smart and very pretty. idk how good her chances are. she's a face clone of beryl everywhere except the chin.
jade bakelite
knowledge/family
pisces 5 3 6 6 10
aliens, mechanical / creativity
malachite! who looks like a cinnamon roll but could kill you.
malachite bakelite
romance/family
taurus 6 4 5 10 3
red hair, logic / jewelry
and emerald. her makeover gives me some boheme vibes.
emerald bakelite
family/grilled cheese
cancer 6 4 6 6 6
red hair, mechanical / swim wear
as usual, i get them started on term papers. everyone except emerald has crazy high skills, so there's no obstacles.
even emerald has an acceptable amount of skill points. at least for the undeclared major.
emerald: yeah? where are you? i'm standing near the broken shadow. no not that one.
exhibit A of why i eventually turned off shadows entirely.
random guy: god she's so pretty. better say high but not look at her. HI!
peridot: why is no one else sitting over here? :c
malachite: assignments are hard and stuff! what do i look like, some kind of brainiac?
seth: yeah peridot island is weird, but you get used to it.
malachite: MY SISTER OWNS AN ENTIRE ISLAND??!! :O
seth: n...no. what?
random chick: oh hellooooo
malachite: if i close my eyes, you don't exist.
taking the good ol' great great uncle topaz route it seems.
i wish i could make a joke about this picture but like. it makes me legitimately sad. someone help him.
jade: studying is so much fun! :D i'm learnin stuff!
spoiler: i love knowledge sims.
emerald has her first kiss with this guy, roger, near the incompetent dormie wrangling pen.
look, okay. i don't have a problem. i just think that some dormies deserve to be wrangled.
dormie 1: wow look at how good that guy is at JUMPING. get on his level.
dormie 2: i'm trying, daniel. i think my medieval athletic wear is slowing me down.
malachite: i hate learning! i hate it! make it stop-- oh god i just learned something else!
have fun getting HYPOTHERMIA.
seriously, put your outerwear on if you're going to stand outside playing rock-paper-scissors for two hours.
emerald: i'm a rather smooth operator.
roger: i'm convinced!
emerald: so there's a monster in xanadu and my granddad is dating it.
roger: yo man that's fucked up.
carnelian: i think you'd look better in a pair of nice stiletto heels.
seth: i swear to god, make fun of my height one more time.
carnelian: you're the same height as everyone else? we all are.
seth: THAT'S IT. FISTICUFFS.
emerald and roger are very worried about daniel, and tbh? so am i.
malachite: my family's magic! we're like harry potter n shit!
emmy: magic doesn't exist, idiot.
malachite: you're so pretty! could you imagine how ginger our babies would be?
emmy: b...babies? with you? unlikely. baka.
malachite: what was that last thing?
emmy: NOTHING.
carnelian: jade is a formidable academic rival. i can sense that she just finished her term paper.
i mean, shit. she was right.
jade: congrats, me! you're better than carnelian!
emerald: *cough*
diaspore: WHAT DID YOU SAY ABOUT MY SCARF
emerald: n...nothing? chill out.
diaspore we just. we gotta talk about your outfits.
diaspore: what do you mean? i look great!
emmy: malachite, i have a confession to make.
malachite: so do i!
emmy: that's not a confession, idiot... mmm....
malachite: have you seen diaspore's scarf?
emmy: yeah, what a loser. are you related?
malachite: no.
malachite: yeah my aunt spinny used to watch me while i was asleep.
emmy: i think i went to uni with her! ngl i've been here for a long time.
worst streaker ever. 0/10.
green afro dormie: ohhhHHH MY GOD PUT SOME CLOTHES ON
diaspore: I AM ALSO OUTRAGED
cow guy: put 'er there!
malachite: HOW SURPRISING
hey larry
no
rip green afro dormie.
she blocked the way once so i put her in the dormie wrangling pen.
at least seth passes out conscientiously? bitch only takes up a single block.
peri is so bad at making conversation with others that i have to make her call her moms. it's fine.
carnelian: can... can i play?
jade: no.
roger: HELL NAW
malachite: i'm worried about andrea!
peridot: do we call someone or leave and let it work itself out?!
peridot: fuck YES a bubbleblower FUCK YEAAAAH
you do realize you had one of those at home, right?
peridot: yeah but. mawreen touched it.
jade is so far ahead she has time for recreational activity.
this gen has been much more pleasant than gen 3.
malachite: you smell terrible!
dormie: whoever smelt it dealt it, loser.
malachite: WHAT
malachite: who's that handsome devil on the door? oh wait. it's me.
emmy: why do you have spiked shoulder pads in that picture.
malachite: i don't know. college is a weird place.
malachite: there's something i need to ask you, emmy!
emmy: what's that?
malachite: i went out yesterday and bought two ringpops, and one of them is for you.
emmy: oh my god! yes!
malachite: my love for you is such that i phase through solid matter!
one more picture of jade showing her perfect dismount before the final exam.
and there they go! they're off.
even seth is going? what are you doing little buddy, come back.
everyone graduates and i start the arduous task of shipping everyone back to xanadu.
here's the grades for every semester and majors for the curious:
carnelian A+ A+ A+ A+ physics
diaspore A A A+ A+ drama
emerald B+ A- A- A+ literature
jade A+ A+ A+ A+ physics
malachite A+ A+ A- A+ art
peridot A+ A+ B A+ art
and uh. malachite comes back later than everyone else? which is very malachite of him.
malachite: i got lost on the way back, it's fine.
initial post makeover peridot!
and jade. i decided at this point that she wasn't a good fit for heir, just because of her facial similarity to beryl.
adult emerald, who left the boheme look behind in favor of the mom look.
i really can't do another primary family sim this close to jasper. since jasper is still alive, a potential heir with family aspiration would have to be REALLY good for me to pick them.
you know what that means!! peridot, more like heir-idot. and here is her... uh. post makeover makeover. sometimes i have trouble finding a look that works for a specific sim.
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